Monday, September 27, 2010

i hate bm

"jika anda mencampuri bahan kimia tanpa something something, it will explode" - Lydia Wong

this is why i hate bm ==
but everytime i look at that sentence, i burst out laughing.

Friday, September 24, 2010

a helping hand

i've always wanted to say that HAHA okay back to business.

On the 10th of October (Sunday), the Lions Clubs International will be organizing a charity event called the Walk for Sight.
It is in conjunction with Lions World Sight Day. This event is in aid of the Lions Eye Clinic that is going to help the blind.

The concept of the walk is really interesting. (Please note that you have to come in pairs okay (: unless you don't mind being paired up with a random stranger lulz)
One of you will be blindfolded (so that you can experience what a blind person goes through) and the other person will have to lead the blindfolded person to the finish line.
It's simple and imagine all the fun you'll have trying to guide your friend!
Plus, it'll help you if you ever need to lead a blind person next time.

When? Sunday, 10th of October at 6.30am*
Where? Dewan Sivik, MBPJ, Jalan Yong Shook Lin, Petaling Jaya (map to the place below)
How much? Only rm10.** And remember that it's all for a good cause!

We would really appreciate it if you could attend and help those in need.
Spread the word and bring your family and friends! The more the merrier right?

If you are interested, please don't hesitate to contact me on facebook, twitter, email ( or if you have my phone number, you could always give me a call/send me a text!

*try to ignore the fact that you might have to wake up at 5am in the morning to get there. as i've said, it is for a good cause and you will be doing a good deed and for that, God will love you and you will go to heaven, heehee (:
** one rm10 ticket admits 2 so it's rm5 per person.

p/s: i know that most of us who are still in school will be having our pmr/trials/finals but it will only be a few hours so lend a hand if you have the time!

Map to venue:

Thursday, September 23, 2010

bring it on

trials start next week.
well, it already started for some of us.
i am nowhere near finishing the whole syllabus T_T (hopefully i will be done by the time spm rolls around)
second last exam in my schooling life.

trials timetable:
27/09 Monday: BM 1&2
28/09 Tuesday: English 1&2
29/09 Wednesday: Mod Maths 1&2
30/09 Thursday: Add Maths 1&2
01/10 Friday: Moral
04/10 Monday: Biology 1&2
06/10 Wednesday: Biology 3 & Chemistry 3
07/10 Thursday: Sejarah 1&2
08/10 Friday: Chemistry 1&2
10/10 SUNDAY: WALK FOR SIGHT (more in the next post ehehe)
11/10 Monday: Physics 1&2
12/10 Tuesday: Physics 3
13/10 Wednesday: Sivik*

2 and a half weeks of torture.
bring on the late nights, the stress, the tears and the hand cramps.

days to trials: 3
days to spm: 60
days to the end of school: 76


*i cannot believe we still have to sit for a sivik paper. can i skip this ah ==

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

security blanket, please?

they play a pretty big role in all our lives.
i hate admitting i'm an insecure person, it's true that i am a very insecure person.
whenever i feel down, a tiny voice inside my head constantly criticizes me, telling me i'm not good enough and that i will never make it far in life.

i've asked myself "what am i good at, what are my strengths" a million and one times and i can never come up with an answer.
i'm surrounded by brilliant people who have talents that i am envious of.
michelle has arts, kate and rachel have sports, jo lynn is smart and has music, megan has dance and brains, alia has graphics, japafreakingnese and she's also one of the smartest people i know.
not to mention the rest of the people i know who are extremely talented and gifted.
i love them but sometimes when i stand next to them or even when i talk to them, i feel so unaccomplished, so unworthy.

being a girl, i am obviously insecure about how i look.
my hair, my face, my clothes, my body.
i see an absolutely gorgeous girl somewhere and i cringe internally.
i binge eat because i'm an emotional eater and then i beat myself up, telling myself that i'm such a pig.
i see a skinny girl walking on the street and instantly my mind goes "why can't i look like that? why are my thighs so big? why are my arms so flabby?" and so on.
but i don't have enough discipline to make myself stop eating so much (i love food too much) or to go on a proper diet.

a few months back, i found youtube videos of my old friends from dance class at competitions/performances.
and geez, they're friggin good.
then i felt regret for stopping lessons. and after that, i felt guilt for not trying hard enough in anything i do. i still feel all of that.
this just eats away until you just feel like crawling into a hole and hiding for the rest of your life.

people have told me to focus on spm because then i can prove my worth.
but i don't even have enough discipline to sit down for hours to cram information into my head without getting distracted.
being able to do that would be a miracle.

all this reminds me of a quote from abundance of katherines by john green (awesome author, go read his books).
"what is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?"
i want to matter, to be able to leave behind something besides being known as the girl who did well for spm (which will hopefully happen because if it doesn't, there wouldn't be anything relatively remarkable about me to say).

sometimes these insecurities just take over my whole brain and then i feel like killing myself. (well, not literally lol)
sometimes i just wanna be something, to feel like i belong. ):

Friday, September 10, 2010

antisocial nerd 8D

mmm, i sense this is going to be another disjointed post cos all the things i wanted to blog about were running across my head last night while i was trying to get some sleep.
at 4am == don't you hate it when that happens?

raya holidays nao.
it's actually raya today so selamat hari raya to all ze muslim friends!
save some rendang for me!
what i've been doing the whole holidays?
stoning at home and studying. i am such an antisocial nerd.


i unleashed my inner fangirl by blasting kpop music and singing along to them in the shower last night, half an hour to raya.
i also bought 3D toy story stickers (idk why i keep saying/typing tickets) and glow sticks.
aren't i cool?


i knew something was supposed to go here, i just can't remember what.. mmmmmm :/
oh, now i remember.
no, i'm completely serious.
me along with michelle, kar lei (no idea why she has to lose any more weight ==) and kate (?) are all on a weight loss challenge. and bala. but he has to PUT ON weight.
so, who wants to go exercise? :D


boon jhoe dropped off 5 add maths books for me the other day.
i swear i've never been so spirited to do add maths, ever.
despite maybe some loss of hair (or greying of hair), this is a good sign (Y)


spm? let's read something from meganbb's blog.

"bumped into mae at one utama yesterday. she was lugging her biology ref book around with her. today lydiabb brought her addmaths ref book to one u as well. a few hours ago, aliabb's dad reprimanded her for trying to sneak her sejarah reference into her handbag. a few days ago, lydia, latifah and i got into a fight on twitter on effort vs outcome.

SPM's doing some pretty intense shit to us, I swear."

need i say more?
all of this btw, is true.


lydia the antisocial nerd.
as you have read above, i brought my add maths book along with me to one utama.
well, i'll be lugging my books everywhere from now on.
what did i do before our food arrived? add maths.
what did i do after i finished eating? add maths.
then i met up with annette and spent an hour with her at her dad's shop.
what did i do the whole time i was there? add maths.
what did i do at ti's place after leaving ou? that's right, you guessed it. add maths!
what is my life?


i want a polaroid camera (:
and a portrait lens.
and a macbook.


i really need to get out of the house D:

days to trials: 17
days to spm: 74
days to the end of school: 90

after thought: this post wasn't a really disjointed one. it was mostly about spm wtf.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

dear spm

i think most of you already know i went to singapore last weekend and i loved it.
might even go there to study since daddy asked me to think about it. (note to self: look up courses there)
the shopping is awesome, the place is absolutely gorgeous, the food not as awesome (LOL) but hey, it'll help me lose weight right?
and i think i'll just leave it at that before i jizz all over the keyboard.

life has been pretty slow. but then every time i think that, i remember spm and i go all KJSDBHFJKSDBGSBDFK.
two plus months left, you gaiz.
and then high school is over and all of us move on to the next chapter and that idea just scares the shit out of me eventhough i've been constantly saying that i can't wait to get out of school (which is true) but i just can't imagine life without school anymore ):

raya break this year gonna suck balls since all of us will have our noses buried in our books, bleh.

dear spm,
i hate you.
love, lydia.

days to trials: 23
days to spm: 80
days till the end of school*: 96


* this is based on my spm timetable, not sure about yours :P